No, the title isn’t describing a particular consistency and texture of wine. It describes who I want to be as a man in three words. Strong yet sensitive. And I’m not talking about lifting copious amounts of mass in the gym and only crying when my favourite athlete retires, though in saying this I’m still not sure how I’ll handle Roger Federer’s eventual retirement… But I digress. What it means is to be true to oneself, to be the real you no matter how scary or challenging it may be. At the end of the day you have to be honest with yourself. It’s time to remove your mask!
I personally believe that true growth comes from the inside, and once we understand what we truly want and desire in comparison to what we may have been led to believe, the world just opens up. I want true love. It’s a big statement but I feel no shame in declaring it. Why should I? It’s something that I’ve always wanted since I was young, and they say a girls dream is her wedding day (this is obviously not true for all girls) so why can’t it be a boys too? It is my dream to find someone that I love unconditionally, that when I see them walking down the aisle I’ll be at a loss for how someone can be so beautiful, that I could be able to love someone that much with the entirety of my very being. It will undoubtedly be the greatest day if not experience of my life. Time may truly stop. Does it scare me? Of course it does, and so it should, but it is the type of fear that comes with living and experiencing something that you have never experienced but genuinely believe in. So even though it may scare me I couldn’t want anything more than true love.
See that’s my dream, not fortune or fame, but to find true love, and I don’t care if it doesn’t match up with somebody else’s dream. You can’t be concerned with what the crowd is doing, because they’ll be doing something totally different tomorrow. I’ll hold onto this dream until it is realised. Find your dream, deep within you, behind everything you have been conditioned to think. Find a dream and settle for nothing less. You just have to begin looking.
Now back to the sentiment of being strong yet sensitive. You see I’m no longer too concerned with my outward appearance, sure I want to look fit and healthy, but I no longer care what I’m benching or if I have a V-taper. What is important to me is following my heart, following my bliss. And to be honest there was a time where I thought I was doing exactly that. I was doing athletics and I was naturally gifted at it. I’d always taken to sport easily and just assumed that that was what I would pursue. As if it was already decided for me. However, I remember asking a question to my coach: How can I become more passionate like my training partner? Who lived and died running. He didn’t give me an answer. The answer is you can’t force love, I liked running but after three years of training five to 6 days a week if I didn’t love it by then, I finally realised I never would.
Truthfully, I love to write. I want to be a story teller. To inspire kids and adults alike and have my work transcend off the page and grace the big screen. That’s what I want to give to the world. That is how I want to reach people. See that’s what makes you strong, doing what is true to yourself no matter what people or society think. BE YOU. You may ask who that is. And I wish I could tell you. I wish I could type in some magical equation and give you the algorithm of how to perfectly live your life. However, I’m glad I can’t because if such thing existed then you wouldn’t be living, discovering and growing (And I only did General Mathematics so such an equation would be beyond me).
In all honesty, I’m personally still discovering who I am, what drives me, what gets me up in the morning and makes me feel alive. And that’s the beautiful thing, we may never truly discover who we are but we can create our own destiny. Love who we want to love, do what we want to do and live how we want to live.
Understandably though, beginning a journey with no clear destination is a daunting prospect, but you’ve got to take that first step. However, you don’t have to do it alone. I knew I couldn’t do this on my own. I found a life coach who helped me see what I truly wanted, what my heart truly wanted, and who understood and believed in me. This was my first step. Finding someone who inspires you, literally energises you, it gives you courage and allows you to dare to be yourself. Therefore, you should never feel that you have to walk a newfound path alone. Find someone who can help you discover what lies within and remove the safety net. It will open up your world. It did mine.
In summation, this is why I believe it’s time for men to stop fixating on how to get cut, or believing emotions to be a sign of weakness, or to not ask for help. Since when were these rules and expectations something to be abide by? DAMN IT MAN! IF YOU WANT TO CRY! YOU CRY! The bravest men, the true legends of our time, who go down in the echelons of history, are men who stand tall against the world in the rawness that is the human condition. Defences down, allowing their emotions to wash over them, envelop them and finally inspire them. Let people love you, and love them back unconditionally. It truly doesn’t matter which way you go in life, as long as you show up as who you were meant to be then you are living. So MAN UP and take off the mask!