Times are tough at the moment. Trump is in power – sea levels are rising – so too are housing prices… I assume. However there is one phenomenon that I think humanity is overlooking. And that is the enigma that is the ducks head. I’ll give you a moment to digest that.
One day I was walking home. It was a wet July, no doubt that el nino was in full force. I absent mindly noticed a duck waddling accross the road when he suddenly stopped and looked at me. Suddenly, a realisation hit me and I slowly turned my umbrella upside down. It looked exactly like the head of the duck standing before me. I screamed. Dropped my umbrella and ran for what felt like days, but was actually only a few seconds because I had gumboots on and yeah fuck that. How could I have been so naive? So unassuming? How could we as a species not have seen this connection before? Forget ‘planet of the apes,’ planet of the ducks is the reality. And now that we know this are we safe?
The truth is Ducks out number us. Big time. The numbers don’t lie. And they have the added advantage of being able to fly, swim, run, and peck at various things. Therefore, I must warn you about the terror that waddles amongst us. I know they may seem cool, they are, but never turn your back on them as it could be the last thing you do. As for platypus’s that is a whole other kettle of fish… Judgement day is upon us. Gods speed everyone. Gods speed.