Remember Your Dream

dreams

What do you live for? We all have a dream. It could be a desire to lose weight, or to learn a new language, or maybe even change the world. The sad reality is there are times in all our lives that we lose sight of our dreams. This is through no fault of our own. The days start to slip by and then become months then years, and by then we somehow have convinced ourselves that “oh well, I guess this is how it is meant to be.”

We all incur disappointments and setbacks, it is the expense of living. Pain is a part of life. It will be with you for every step of the way. But don’t let it limit you or break you, thrive it, it is another chance to grow.  It is easy to get discouraged, even bitter about life and how things have eventuated.  I will personally admit that I’ve had the thought of “why is this happening to me?” I always thought that I was destined for greatness, to live a life that others marveled at or wanted. However, through some deep discovery and coaching I have realized that I was only wanting these things, like fame and fortune to impress others.

In this day and age we are all performing for other people through social-media and the internet, trying to create another version of ourselves that displays our best qualities and who we ourselves even longingly wish to be. It is hard enough to live one life let alone maintain some virtual persona we have created for ourselves. What I’m trying to say is that you need to have dreams that are inline with your values. I want to help people. However, I don’t need this to be accepted or reassured by a mass group of complete strangers on Facebook or Instagram to validate it as a worthy dream. I want to do so because in doing so I am ultimately having a small, maybe even large effect on somebody’s life for the better, and that in turn helps me to realise one of my dreams. I feel good about it, that’s all there is too it.

Now you may have had a dream that you have tried to realise once before but have failed. Dreams aren’t easily attainable, that is why they are dreams not just common thoughts. It doesn’t matter what stage of your life you’re in, adolescents or well into adulthood. Dreams can be achieved at any stage in life, there is no expiration date. So remember your dream, it could be something from last week or decades ago, it still has merit. It still is apart of you and your soul and very being

The Mind is a Great Storyteller

1-too_many_words_by_payana-dev.jpg

“We think we know you.” This is a sentiment that I have come accross recently and it really struck a chord with me. The idea of it is, there are always going to bystanders, spectators, or various people who think they genreally know who you are as a person. They feel that you should act in accordance with how they conduct themselves. And if you dare stray against the status quo you become ostracised.

Remember though, if someone doesn’t want to associate with you because you may act a certain way, then they are of no value to you in the first place. Those who try to succeed and inevitably do succeeded are going to be chastised for it by their “peers”. Why? It is just how the world works unfortunately. People may think that you are too good for them. Tall poppy syndrome in a nutshell. In all honesty you probably are. People who are hung up on perceptions of how people should act or shouldn’t act are people with closed minds. They believe everything should be in black and white. These people weigh you down, and unfortunately they can get to you. I’ve been called everything under-the-sun and at times you do let it seep into your head.

However, I have found that once you get caught up in rumination or indulging in such thoughts then you are limiting yourself just like the people who have labeled you have limited their entire lives. You begin overthinking how you should act, speak, and whether what you said came accross as okay. If you are this kind of person then I can already tell you’re emotionally intelligent and kind. You will know the difference between right and wrong.

Therefore, don’t ever feel like you need to sensor yourself – sure we all say things we regret but the majority of the time it is our mind fabricating stories and giving them a catastrophic twist. My biggest wish is to be able too say something and not care what other people think about it. Thus, living in the present moment and not facilitating to people’s needs and desires.

The amount of times I’ve been stuck in my head agonising over what someone has said or how I’ve interpreted a particular social interaction to have gone, is debilitating. I become stuck. i’m viewing events from yesterday, therefore my eyes aren’t seeing today. I’m not living if i’m constantly overthinking the what if’s? Just let life play out. These people that think they know who you are or what is best for you arent worth a second thought. And I’ll put you at ease a bit, the majority of our thoughts are all hypotheticals, that means they will not become reality and are just words in the wind. So let them go.

The mind is a great storyteller. At times it even discouraged me from pursuing the things I loved to do for fear of judgment. That’s when the negative thoughts got louder and would burden me like a well worn coat. I eventually became my shadow. Then I had an epiphany. When I would write or read or play music the thoughts began to pass, they were nothing more then words- whose power would be diminished when I lived by my heart, and did things in accordance with my bliss. Not in correlation with what others wanted me to do. Finally, I had control back of my life, I was in control of my destiny and it was liberating. I could look outside the window and see a view of endless possibilities.

In summation, there are always going to be people who disagree with who you are and what you do, and I pity them. They’re so involved with my life that they aren’t leading a life of their own. Life is fleeting, so don’t be trapped by dogma. You can’t fool the man in the mirror. So go out and do something that falls in line with your bliss. Life is hard – therefore, why should we make it any harder for ourselves by being anyone that we aren’t already destined to be.

Why we shouldn’t try to tame our Emotions

Have you ever though to yourself “I wish I didn’t feel as much?” Or “I wish I wasn’t so sensitive?”

Countless people have the misunderstandings that feelings are something that need to be controlled, you need to keep them in check. I thought this way too. When you are hypersensitive everything is felt to highest magnitude, pain is great and sadness is all consuming. It can be arduous trying to get through a day whilst there is a battle raging on inside. But it needn’t be a battle. The thing is, those who feel are truly the lucky ones. We get to live our lives to the fullest, experiencing every emotion across the spectrum and thus immersing ourselves in experiences and undertakings. We are able to communicate our problems and identify our emotions for what they are, dynamic bi-products of living a life worth living. Crying is good and so is laughter, both are necessities that need to be indulged in and not contorted or limited. We understand the inner-workings of our mind and can see what we truly want out of life. We can read people well and see people for who they are.

The tragedy is that this unique part of us is often thought of as a negative. We’re always acting in front of people that are supposedly important to us. Trying to be liked is the biggest infliction that plagues mankind. Don’t do that. Be you. There is no need to put on a front to try and align yourself with societies expectations. Stop limiting your growth and be who you want to be, rearrange the agenda, the spectrum or whatever you want to call it. When you look back on life you want to be able to say to yourself that you lived by your heart and didn’t have to compromise yourself for anyone. Don’t get me wrong change is a good thing, but it has to be inline with our values and our beliefs.

The Enigma that is a Duck’s Head

duck-190715_960_720.jpg

Times are tough at the moment. Trump is in power –  sea levels are rising – so too are housing prices… I assume. However there is one phenomenon that I think humanity is overlooking. And that is the enigma that is the ducks head. I’ll give you a moment to digest that.

One day I was walking home. It was a wet July, no doubt that el nino was in full force. I absent mindly noticed a duck waddling accross the road when he suddenly stopped and looked at me. Suddenly, a realisation hit me and I slowly turned my umbrella upside down. It looked exactly like the head of the duck standing before me. I screamed. Dropped my umbrella and ran for what felt like days, but was actually only a few seconds because I had gumboots on and yeah fuck that. How could I have been so naive? So unassuming? How could we as a species not have seen this connection before? Forget ‘planet of the apes,’ planet of the ducks is the reality. And now that we know this are we safe?

The truth is Ducks out number us. Big time. The numbers don’t lie. And they have the added advantage of being able to fly, swim, run, and peck at various things. Therefore, I must warn you about the terror that waddles amongst us. I know they may seem cool, they are, but never turn your back on them as it could be the last thing you do. As for platypus’s that is a whole other kettle of fish… Judgement day is upon us. Gods speed everyone. Gods speed.

Be Honest With Yourself

Do what you want to do. If you want to ask a girl out on a date then ask her. Say what you want to say and do what you want to do. I know it can be scary but you have to live – you have to participate and to do this you’ve got to do what you want to do. Always ask yourself the question do you want to do this? If the answer is yes then do it. No matter what, the consequences of your actions may be unknown but you’ll get to live no matter what the outcome is. Be honest with yourself, be who you are, stand-tall and be present in the now. All you have to do is ask yourself yes? Or no? Follow your heart and believe that you can indeed realise your dreams. You just have to ask for them.

Life is too short to do anything but what we want to do. This in itself is a hard ideal to discover. What do we truly want to do? Honestly, you may never truly know. It seems like a bleak reality but until we experience all that we can we may never truly know what we are meant to do with our live. However, that is okay, because deep down we do know what brings us enjoyment and fulfilment. We just have to be brave enough to face it. Listen to your heart and follow your passion. You just have to begin your journey and the rest will sort itself out. Let the thoughts run through your head, just be with yourself in the present. Tomorrow is a mystery and Today has come on gone. Rise with the sun and live an open mind. All we can do is experience things, both the good and the bad – they are but experiences, both the alpha and the omega. How we react to these experiences is how we live our lives. The pursuit of happiness is futile, why limit yourself? Live each day with the beauty of the emotions that come with it. Let them rise and fall within you like waves in the ocean, and allow them to be. One can take action even if their is fear in ones heart. Just live.

The Start of Ones Journey

We all reach a stage in our life when we realise that we want to start living. Leading a worthwhile life one with purpose and inspiration. And to do this change is inevitably required. This can be a daunting prospect, to let go of what we consider comfortable and begin to affiliate ourselves with the uncomfortable. Fear may arise and thus limit us into doing what we have always already done. We wait for a perfect day, a prefect chance, a perfect opportunity to begin travelling on the road less journeyed.

Unfortunately, the time for change is usually the time when we ourselves are facing our strongest adversities. They can be exterior elements, such as jobs and people. Or they can be things resided behind our eyes: the negative thoughts, the doubts, the self-reasoning that we are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough etc. And to tell you the truth I got sick of having a mind wired to the negative. I realised I am just as deserving and capable of leading a life I want to lead as anyone else. Greatness, or experience aren’t limited to a select few of lucky people. Getting the most out of life isn’t some esoteric or ordained concept. We are who we choose to be. Therefore, in turn we can realise our dreams.

Our biggest critic is ourselves. This may not be a revelation, but if you think about it, would you talk to someone the same way you talk to yourself? Probably not. We are so critical and harsh of our performances and perceived perceptions by other that we lose sight of loving who we are. We act one way and believe the next. Be you. Be your biggest fan. This is when I realised that if I didn’t change the way I thought, or how I processed various thoughts, then I would be stuck with regrets. Sure I may convince myself that what I am doing is right, or is what I love. However, deep down I would always know that I wasn’t being honest with myself. This is a heartbreaking thing to realise. You’re are stuck with yourself forever so why try and deceive  yourself, or escape, or run from thoughts and ideas that actually give your life meaning but may instil fear in you at the same time. It’s hard changing your life, it truly is. However, what comes of it are rewards you could never imagine. You do become stronger, wiser, and whole. Yet the greatest reward is that you begin to realise that there was nothing wrong with you all along, you just had to give yourself a chance.

I’ve failed so many times I gave up counting, each day I make a mistake, but each day I learn a lesson. And at least I tried. I don’t think I could love myself or show up if I didn’t at least try. Everyone fails, it is the most beautiful thing in life. The lessons taught from failure are unprecedented – it can teach us more than any other lesson ever could. I’ll fail today and I’ll fail tomorrow and I don’t care, because the more I fail the closer I am to realising my dreams.

So write a poem, draw a picture, go for a run, these aren’t Nobel Prize worthy endeavours but some day they may lead to one. Like I also aforementioned in my previous post, you don’t have to do it alone. Communicate and share your experiences with like minded people. Let go of those (excuse my language) that are against reaching for the stars, who are happy to be doing the same shit year in year out. Talking themselves up to people who aren’t worth impressing. I care what you are trying to do no matter how small or big that task may be. I give a damn about people who are trying to grow or inspire others, they are the heartbeat of life itself, and it fills me with so much motivation and drive knowing that they exist. Find these people – they are there and they will show up if they are meant to. How could they not? So take that first step, your life awaits…

Strong Yet Sensitive

what-makes-a-manNo, the title isn’t describing a particular consistency and texture of wine. It describes who I want to be as a man in three words. Strong yet sensitive. And I’m not talking about lifting copious amounts of mass in the gym and only crying when my favourite athlete retires, though in saying this I’m still not sure how I’ll handle Roger Federer’s eventual retirement… But I digress. What it means is to be true to oneself, to be the real you no matter how scary or challenging it may be. At the end of the day you have to be honest with yourself. It’s time to remove your mask!

I personally believe that true growth comes from the inside, and once we understand what we truly want and desire in comparison to what we may have been led to believe, the world just opens up. I want true love. It’s a big statement but I feel no shame in declaring it. Why should I? It’s something that I’ve always wanted since I was young, and they say a girls dream is her wedding day (this is obviously not true for all girls) so why can’t it be a boys too? It is my dream to find someone that I love unconditionally, that when I see them walking down the aisle I’ll be at a loss for how someone can be so beautiful, that I could be able to love someone that much with the entirety of my very being. It will undoubtedly be the greatest day if not experience of my life. Time may truly stop. Does it scare me? Of course it does, and so it should, but it is the type of fear that comes with living and experiencing something that you have never experienced but genuinely believe in. So even though it may scare me I couldn’t want anything more than true love.

See that’s my dream, not fortune or fame, but to find true love, and I don’t care if it doesn’t match up with somebody else’s dream. You can’t be concerned with what the crowd is doing, because they’ll be doing something totally different tomorrow. I’ll hold onto this dream until it is realised. Find your dream, deep within you, behind everything you have been conditioned to think. Find a dream and settle for nothing less. You just have to begin looking.

Now back to the sentiment of being strong yet sensitive. You see I’m no longer too concerned with my outward appearance, sure I want to look fit and healthy, but I no longer care what I’m benching or if I have a V-taper. What is important to me is following my heart, following my bliss. And to be honest there was a time where I thought I was doing exactly that. I was doing athletics and I was naturally gifted at it. I’d always taken to sport easily and just assumed that that was what I would pursue. As if it was already decided for me. However, I remember asking a question to my coach: How can I become more passionate like my training partner? Who lived and died running. He didn’t give me an answer. The answer is you can’t force love, I liked running but after three years of training five to 6 days a week if I didn’t love it by then, I finally realised I never would.

Truthfully, I love to write. I want to be a story teller. To inspire kids and adults alike and have my work transcend off the page and grace the big screen. That’s what I want to give to the world. That is how I want to reach people. See that’s what makes you strong, doing what is true to yourself no matter what people or society think. BE YOU. You may ask who that is. And I wish I could tell you. I wish I could type in some magical equation and give you the algorithm of how to perfectly live your life. However, I’m glad I can’t because if such thing existed then you wouldn’t be living, discovering and growing (And I only did General Mathematics so such an equation would be beyond me).

In all honesty, I’m personally still discovering who I am, what drives me, what gets me up in the morning and makes me feel alive. And that’s the beautiful thing, we may never truly discover who we are but we can create our own destiny. Love who we want to love, do what we want to do and live how we want to live.

Understandably though, beginning a journey with no clear destination is a daunting prospect, but you’ve got to take that first step. However, you don’t have to do it alone. I knew I couldn’t do this on my own. I found a life coach who helped me see what I truly wanted, what my heart truly wanted, and who understood and believed in me. This was my first step. Finding someone who inspires you, literally energises you, it gives you courage and allows you to dare to be yourself. Therefore, you should never feel that you have to walk a newfound path alone. Find someone who can help you discover what lies within and remove the safety net. It will open up your world. It did mine.

In summation, this is why I believe it’s time for men to stop fixating on how to get cut, or believing emotions to be a sign of weakness, or to not ask for help. Since when were these rules and expectations something to be abide by? DAMN IT MAN! IF YOU WANT TO CRY! YOU CRY! The bravest men, the true legends of our time, who go down in the echelons of history, are men who stand tall against the world in the rawness that is the human condition. Defences down, allowing their emotions to wash over them, envelop them and finally inspire them. Let people love you, and love them back unconditionally. It truly doesn’t matter which way you go in life, as long as you show up as who you were meant to be then you are living. So MAN UP and take off the mask!